I’d leave my cubicle but….

You want to talk about yourself, not a solution. (You sound like a reality show.)

You talk like a brochure on legs. I can read about that stuff on your website. (A one-size fits all approach doesn’t work for me. Tells me a lot about your organization.)

You’re using buzz words instead of real words. (Aren’t you cool! I think I’ll tune you out.)

You act pretty familiar with our team, which you’ve never met before, like you know an inside joke which we don’t. (We take ourselves seriously. It’s not a joke. Don’t waste our time with your performance art.)

You don’t look at me when I’m at the conference table. (OK, so I’m smarter than you. Do I make you uncomfortable? Hmmm, I’ll have some fun, here.)

I don’t make you uncomfortable, I intimidate you! (That’s your problem, not mine. I’ll have some more fun.)

You don’t know what you’re talking about. (Doesn’t your company onboard correctly – or at all? I’m embarrassed for you. And you’re wasting my time.)

You left your sales engineer back at the ranch. How much time do you think we have for all the meetings you want to schedule? (You’re an amateur and unrealistic about the importance of your products and solutions. Wake up.)

You keep pushing specific solutions. We’ve got a bunch of stuff going on here. (You think too small, don’t ask questions, and haven’t done your homework. We need bigger solutions.)

I make an appointment with you. You arrive and make it a point to tell me you don’t have a lot of time to meet, you’re so busy. (Hey, don’t let me get in your way. The door’s that way.)

You talk at me, not with me. (What, this is the script they gave you in sales training? Give me a break. You’re a commodity. Don’t bother me.)

You call me once a week to prospect and leave the same message on voicemail… (I delete each message.)

You email me once a week and send the same message… (I’m tired of deleting your messages. I think I’ll block your email address.)

You tell me you have the solution to my pain, but I’m not in pain. Really. How did you arrive at that conclusion? (You haven’t done your homework, sound like your sales training program and you expect me to take you seriously? C’mon man.)

You don’t pronounce my name correctly. Were you even listening to my voicemail greeting? (Delete message)

I’m not the correct person to contact. You don’t think I’m going to tell you the correct contact person, do you? (Delete message)

You keep selling based on low price and discounts. Do you think that’s a value proposition? (We don’t take you seriously.)

Our team uses you as an example of what not to do or sound like, when we debrief after you leave. (Ouch)

Have some examples you can add to this list?

Babette N. Ten Haken, Founder & President of Sales Aerobics for Engineers®, LLC, brings entrepreneurial mojo and business- and revenue-producing collaboration and communication tools to small and mid-sized businesses and startups. Download her newest White Paper at her Free Resources Page. She was named one of the Top 50 Sales & Marketing Influencers 2013. Her book, Do YOU Mean Business? focuses on technical / non-technical collaboration strategies and tools.